John Bunyan's Confessions
Some sincere pastors and teachers have “goat-phobia” and I hope that I can
include myself in their number. What I mean by “goat-phobia” is that we
hesitate to state some things, which are very true, but we are afraid that
people, who feign Christianity (goats… Mt.25:32), might take advantage of these
doctrines to justify themselves. The subjects can be quite delicate and they are
meant to feed and comfort the sheep. The “goats” need awakening and conviction
of sin; comfort is not on the menu for them. So, I have hesitated, but now I
want to share a page and a half of a very rich offering from John Bunyan…
Grace
Abounding
John Bunyan 1628-1688 |
Of all the temptations that ever I met with in my
life, to question the being of God and the truth of His gospel is the worst,
and the worst to be borne; when this temptation comes, it takes away my girdle
from me and removes the foundations from under me. Oh, I have often thought of
that word, “Have your loins girt about with truth”, and of that, “When the foundations
are destroyed, what can the righteous do?”
Sometimes when, after sin committed, I have looked for
sore chastisement from the hand of God, the very next that I have had from Him
has been the discovery of His grace. Sometimes, when I have been comforted, I
have called myself a fool for my so sinking under trouble. And then, again,
when I have been cast down, I thought I was not wise to give such way to
comfort. With such strength and weight have both these been upon me…
I have sometimes seen more in a line of the Bible than
I could well tell how to stand under, and yet at another time the whole Bible
has been to me as dry as a stick. Or rather, my heart has been so dead and dry
unto it that I could not conceive the least drachma of refreshment, though I
have looked it all over.
Of all tears, they are the best that are made by the
blood of Christ; and of all joy, that is the sweetest that is mixed with
mourning over Christ. Oh! It is a goodly thing to be on our knees, with Christ
in our arms, before God. I hope I know something of these things.
I find to this day seven abominations in my heart: (1)
Inclinings to unbelief (2) Suddenly to forget the love and mercy that Christ
has manifested. (3) A leaning to the works of the law. (4) Wanderings and
coldness in prayer. (5) To forget to watch for what I pray for. (6) Apt to murmur
because I have no more, and yet ready to abuse what I have. (7) I can do none
of those things which God commands me, but my corruptions will thrust in
themselves… “When I would do good, evil is present with me.”
These things I continually see and feel, and am
afflicted and oppressed with; yet the wisdom of God does order them for my
good. (1) They make me abhor myself. (2) They keep me from trusting my heart.
(3) They convince me of the insufficiency of all inherent righteousness. (4)
They show me the necessity of fleeing to Jesus. (5) They press me to pray unto
God. (6) They show me the need I have to watch and be sober. (7) And provoke me
to look to God, through Christ, to help me, and carry me through this world.
Amen.
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